The “Jennings” Effect

The “Jennings” Effect

If there is one thing that will chase the autumnal thunderclouds away, it is the occasional ray of sunshine that pops up on your Youtube feed on an otherwise dark night of traditional Sunday evening fayre on the telly. Recently for me, that shaft of light came courtesy of the ever hapless master of clickbait, Mr Rory Jennings – and boy it was illuminating to see what the world of online “top tier” punditry had to offer.

The dynamic definitely changes when the big teams win. On Saturday, Arsenal’s analysis on AFTV and other channels saw Gooners delighted with their win, all providing some astute analysis on a game in which the away side completely dominated, however, rewind to the previous home game where Bournemouth had the “audacity” to claim a point off the Blues, and the Chelsea reaction was nothing short of calamitous.

“It’s almost reassuring that it isn’t just in the studios of Sky and the Beeb that the totally vapid inhabit, as the non ‘mainstream media’ types are just as lazy.”

Jennings, like so many of his ilk who are in the cult of the “big six” cartel that runs British football, reinforced Saturday’s equally calamitous “analysis” from that other denizen of understatement, Mr Mark Goldbridge, who, after reheating Talksport’s inevitable talking points, tends to offer nothing other than hot air.  It’s almost reassuring that it isn’t just in the studios of Sky and the Beeb that the totally vapid inhabit, as the non “mainstream media” types are just as lazy, incompetent and devoid of ideas as the next Lineker and Neville.

Jennings, like a deluge from the heavens, flooded his fifteen minute of tearful mutterings on his aftermath review show of the Cherries v Chelsea game with the same tiresome troupes that are his unique selling point on any discussion regarding underperforming teams. “Pathetic”, “Rudderless”, and “Useless” may well have been an accurate reflection on where Chelsea were at that moment in time, but he seemed to have forgotten, if he indeed ever knew – that a period of Chelsea’s history before the age of the Russian oligarch, who funded the silverware machine before funding wars, had far darker periods than this current moment.

So no Rory, Chelsea are not the worst run club in the league, that honour goes to the red half of Manchester. Cue Mark Goldbridge…

The United Stand frontman and the other host of cockney mockney social media extras that come across like characters in a bad Guy Ritchie movie, have also forgotten there was a world before SAF, a world of Big Ron, dire football and sometimes relegation. Both sets of talking heads seemingly labour under the knowledge that football only started in 1992. Whilst age may preclude them from knowing more grim periods of their respective clubs history, you would think that being the “dye in the wool” fans they claim to be, they could show some humility to at least put their current crisis in some sort of context.

What we got instead was the sort of hubris that one would expect from “entitled” fans. The keen eyed supporters of Brighton (who beat Manchester United) and Bournemouth (who secured a much needed draw) might have noted that no credit was given to our beloved teams and no comments were made on the way we both went about our business. Welbeck and Solanke to the “expert eye” of top class pundits like Jennings and Goldbridge are “lesser” players, not good enough to wear their shirts. Never mind that it took an ex-Brighton player to keep Chelsea in the game, or when it comes to dedication and hard work, that Kelly, Cook, Kerkez and Aarons showed up the “superstars” like Stirling, Fernandes and Mudryk.

“It seems outrageous that Brighton and Bournemouth might actually be competitive.”

It’s also blindingly apparent none of the Talksport and Sky panel of ‘‘experts’’ even knows who plays for us. Apparently Billing is the only player who Jennings is even vaguely familiar with, while Goldbridge had no idea what was going on. To these voices, it seems outrageous that Brighton and Bournemouth might actually be competitive, seemingly forgetting the traditional role of being a three point pinata. Instead it is always about how badly THEY play, and who is the scapegoat of the week.

Whilst Pascal Groß is idiotically referred to “gross” by Goldbridge, he gave a midfield masterclass on Saturday – and that is something they’d have realised if they had bothered to stop acting like Alan Partridge and noted the performance. One wonders, coming from a club like Ajax and Bayern Munich, if Ten Hag is starting to wonder if he is in a Franz Kafka novel rather than a football club, such was the nightmare fuel being uploaded in the guise of a watch-along.

What makes the pathos so contemptible from the point of view from those, like the regular Cherry supporters, and fans of smaller, provincial clubs like Brighton, Brentford, Luton, Forest and the rest of the pyramid, is that “top six” fandom really don’t know what “crisis” means. As poor as Manchester United are, they will come good – they always do, same with Chelsea.

What they seem to forget is they reflect the clubs they support, acting like stars in their own melodrama, giving an avalanche of snowflake catastrophising on a weekly basis. I wonder what his reactions were to their EFL Cup over Brighton, or their classy win over Fulham?

I suppose, the real analysis that Jennings and chums will never understand is that fans of unfashionable teams are ones who are “winning”. For every season we all stay in the Premier League, don’t forget Jennings, Goldbridge and co don’t want us here, and it becomes another day closer to ending this wretched cartel of big six clubs. Leicester have shown what is possible, and I am starting to get a sense, whisper it even, that legacy clubs like Man Utd and Chelsea are starting to look like yesterday’s clubs. It certainly looked that way last weekend. This is why we get the inane drivel about Lampard dribbling, not deep reflection, context or analysis on WHY the Glazers and Boehly are getting it structurally wrong, despite spending like a mid-power European nation.

Maybe until you’ve stood outside your ground bucket in hand, watched your club being sold to a property developer, or waited fearfully for the administrator to wind up your club, Rory and Mark, you might get that self awareness and insight. In the meantime you keep crying over your billions, recruiting hotheads like Jackson and aging superstars like Casemiro, and sacking talented gaffers, because the cleansing rain will hopefully wash away all the plastic one day, and as we all know, plastic is never good for the environment.